Of all the offensive, upsetting, hideous things going on in the world there is one thing that is really taking the biscuit – literally.
It’s the humble cuppa.
Not your posh coffee shop hot beverage with a fancy title and even fancier price but your bog-standard, brew in your own kitchen, tea.
For those who have been hiding under a Grande, iced, sugar-free, vanilla latte with soy milk for the past week the humble teabag has found itself in very hot water indeed.
Why? Because our new, Chancellor Rishi Sunak, dared to pose with a bag of Yorkshire teabags while sorting out his budget.
Cue instant social media hate storm as Left-wing nutjobs started boiling over with rage at Yorkshire Tea, sending vile messages implying the company should die for backing the Tories.
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They don’t of course. Jeremy Corbyn similarly posed with the brand three years ago and Sunak (who is from Yorkshire) simply
favours their flavour.
The company had nothing to do with either politician posing with their product and neither condemns nor condones either side. And they have responded brilliantly.
However, the bottom line is that we have now reached peak stark-staring bonkers levels of lunacy. We are trolling teabags, for God’s sake.
This is as mad as Extinction Rebellion starting to dig up lovely bits of grass to prove their point… Oh, hold on.
Hashtag Be Kind might have trended this week but no-one seems to have taken a blind bit of notice.
The actor Laurence Fox, inset, has been bullied off Twitter for daring to have an opinion that he aired on Question Time.
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Even his own Equity union (you know, those bodies invented to protect the rights and health of their members) appeared to encourage the pile-on.
Quite what the haters thought they’d achieve by having a go at some leaves in a small white pouch is interesting. After all, everyone knows that the more hot water a teabag is in, the stronger it gets.
However, maybe those teabags aren’t so innocent after all. The Tetley Tea folk weren’t very woke were they?
Working class stereotypes, patronising to northerners, hideously white and the only female being a bit of a blonde dolly bird.
And as for those PG Tips chimpanzees… dear Lord, what where we all thinking?
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Actually the more you investigate tea, the more appalling it becomes.
Even drinking it is surely cultural appropriation from the Chinese? Then there’s specifying whether you want white or black, enough to get race ‘champion’ MP David Lammy in a right stew.
The one thing I didn’t realise until studying the new hate crime of tea phobia is the UK’s favourite hot drink has a technical term that fits this whole madness well. Flakey.
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